Lessons from the first month
Image source: Vuing
In this series of posts, I plan on writing about things I’m glad I learned, that I remembered, that I did, and things I wish I remembered, things I didn’t do. I plan on writing them so that they’re relevant during a particular point in a child’s development.
The reason for this post remains consistent with the reason for this blog in general: (1) mostly as a reminder for me, just in case we have a second child (we are by the way!); and (2) maybe there’s someone out there that finds my musings useful.
Things I’m glad I did
Take pictures, a lot of them. I also upgraded my cloud storage so that I don’t have to worry about running out of room on my phone. Periodically, I select one photo per day and place them into my “Day by Day” album; rather than looking at thousands (and growing number) of photos, I can look at a few hundred. It’s also fun to see this pseudo time warp. Even if I’m not taking a lot of pictures everyday, I try to take at least one per day.
Journal. Everyday for the first year of my son’s life, I wrote a short letter to him. It’s fun to look back at the earlier notes because I don’t remember all of it; lack of sleep = less short term memory! The journaling is also useful for doctor’s visits and milestones. I could quickly search for his “first step” or “teething.” After his first birthday, I moved to a weekly cadence, although there are weeks that I write more than once.
Exercise. This is not the time for setting new PRs. This is a time for mobility, flexibility. Yoga + planks = saving joints and back, also staying healthy enough for when I’m ready to return to intensity. I did some form of the warm up from this post just about everyday for the first month. I didn’t really start doing body weight exercises until I could get more than five hours of continuous sleep.
Things I am grateful for
Family and friends. I really don’t know how we would have managed without the help of family and friends. Specific ways they helped out: food (see below), speaking to an adult about adult things, forced walks, and of course, small breaks to take a nap or maybe even watch a movie in a theater with just my wife.
Food. Similarly, I’m not sure how we would have handled basic human functioning while taking care of a newborn AND having to cook and clean. We were incredibly lucky that family brought over food nearly every day. Having that one less thing to worry about was such a huge help. Take out and delivery is also very convenient during the initial days.
Showers. For some reason I didn’t shower at the hospital. When I finally did at home, I felt like a million bucks. This second time around, I’ll remember basic hygiene.
Things I wished I remembered
Meconium. That stuff is hard to clean. Let the nurses take care of it. I remember thinking to myself, “I’m going to be a terrible father; I can’t even clean his butt.” At the very least, remember that poop evolves, and it won’t remain meconium forever!
Nesting. I don’t need 50 rolls of paper towels (social distancing notwithstanding). I don’t need a variety of cleaners. Plan ahead for the absolute musts (a few diapers, some wipes, maybe formula, and a place to sleep). Other than that, everything else is likely found in a nearby store or online.
Reading. There are so many books on parenthood. Remember that I’ll get a million reps to (re)learn how to do things properly, like swaddling, diaper changing. Also, I’ll remember to trust the doctor I spent the time researching and specifically choosing. I’ll trust him to tell me when things are off, instead of playing internet doctor and determining that we’re facing imminent doom.
Resiliency. Humans have been raising kids for a long time. I’m built for this. It is difficult getting no sleep. But, we powered through. We survived. And weren’t scarred to the point of not wanting to do it again.
Anything else you think should be on this list for the first month? Please comment below or contact me here!
Disclaimer
I’m just Tim the Dad. I’m not a medical or any sort of parenting professional. Please consult all necessary relevant professionals before taking my advice on anything!
